Skip to main content

Their Words Don't Count

I went to a reunion gathering with my friends from Chinese school. Everytime we meet up, the bonding in our friendship has been strengthen, upgraded and updated. However, it is a different story this time. Before telling this story, let's rewine to three hours before this when I was at school.

I've been putting my heart helping her in her work. Suddenly, when it is decided to have an interview before getting her proposal approved, she pointed the finger to me that I haven't "get any voice" her. Even though I tried my best in explaining the purpose of the interview to her, it seems like not a single word she understand. She just kept complaining about how her effort put in the writing is ruined and how terrible she is when it comes to verbally communicating with people blah blah blah. The fire to my explosion was that she even used all cap in replying the chat. Maybe it was because the conversation was done in writing that I didn't know how her ture feeling was. But I was and am disappointed that I tried my best in helping her and what I got in return is just blame. People always say that a kind person won't expect any gratitude from the one he/she helps. True. I never expect anything good in return to that and guess what, I got the opposite one.

Lesson Learned: never be too sincere to just anyone. Choose the person wisely. Or you would end up being hurt and become a bad guy in their eyes.

After experience all these anger, and disappointment, I was glad that I had a gathering with my old friends which I could forget all these stressful feeling for a while. Then, it turned out the meeting made it worse. One of my best friend brought her newly-wedded-husband along, and this was the first time ever we officially met. I admit I'm an offensive joker but I only do this with my friends because they would do the same to me. And so this mister came in and insulted me in every way he determined as "funny". Besides that, nothing else. Everyone was quiet most of the time. I tried to get them involve in talking and stuff, then I was brutally attacked again. I am a short-temper person, but I also knew that I couldn't get mad since he is my best friend's husband. I mean, I am not him. I can't insult him like he did to me and still be so casual about it. I cared about my friend's feeling. Frustrating.

Lesson Learned: when I am not feeling good about some comments, show them in an unagressive way like stop talking. The mistake I made was that I kept talking and kept trying to make the gathering lively. And he mistook that for "she could be insulted and not getting mad at all".

And this is the worst day of the month. Or I can even say for the last three years. Eventually, after crying for 10 minutes, I realized that I can't give them the power to take control of my emotions. I have to take it back. Who cares about what type of person they want to be? Instead of busy drowning my self in madness, I should stand up and not letting the same thing happens ever again. Their words don't count.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to My Lost Phone

To my dear phone, I am sorry that I was not attentive enough which led to you being stolen. I should not have worn that backpack to AEON mall in the first place. I should have checked when I felt someone was touching my backpack at the exit. I should have placed you in a safer place. There were many ways to avoid this incident, yet I was careless enough to lose you. I never thought this would happen to me. You were my comrade for five years. You were the first phone I bought with my own salary. I still remember how excited I was when I first saw you being unboxed. From that day on, we were inseparable. You were with me almost everywhere I went. There were three times my forgetfulness separated or almost separated us. The first one was the trip to Koh Kong province and Chang island in Thailand. I left you at home, but my colleague helped me to get you before the departure. The second time was a DMC school trip to Mondulkiri province. I have packed the charger and earphone, but I forgo...

A Reflection of Reality in Dream

Waking up at twilight of last Sunday, I felt vulnerable and helpless because the dream I just had horrified me. There was not any scary monster or haunting ghosts. I would not be afraid if there is anyway. I remembered the first scene was my fiancé taking me home on his motorbike. It was a dark evening. As we reached the corner to my house, the road was blocked by some authorities and the passengers had to queue to get through some check-up, which was reasonable because of the COVID-19 outbreak. We did not want to queue so we turned left to another route. Suddenly, without any reason, I was running in a rush down the stairs of a balcony at the front of a wooden building with my barefoot. It seemed to be a restaurant as I ran pass tables and tables of foreigners eating and drinking beer. I had to squeeze myself through all the people, since it was crowded. I wanted to go home so badly, as if I was lost in this place for so long. When I reached ground floor, I saw an acquaintance or an o...

New Start

Time flies! As 2020 was gone along with an all-cap COVID-19, it is February of 2021 already. In a blink of an eye, the clock ticks life away. Before I knew it, I have wasted my time mostly in my comfort-zone. Comparing to the old me one year ago, I have not really changed internally, still the old me with limited knowledge. As I was watching YouTube videos (which is what I do when I want to escape from hard work), I came across videos of a few YouTubers who did self-reflection and concluded their year with their accomplished or unaccomplished resolution they set at the beginning of 2020. They also analyzed why they did or did not complete those goals. This is a wake up call for me. I am starting to ask myself about the achievement I have done in the past year. I have a motto printed on my desk that says: “Life begins at the end of the comfort-zone”, and I believe that it is true. Without hard work, we will stay the same while others are facing challenges and grow from those efforts the...