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New Start

Time flies! As 2020 was gone along with an all-cap COVID-19, it is February of 2021 already. In a blink of an eye, the clock ticks life away. Before I knew it, I have wasted my time mostly in my comfort-zone. Comparing to the old me one year ago, I have not really changed internally, still the old me with limited knowledge. As I was watching YouTube videos (which is what I do when I want to escape from hard work), I came across videos of a few YouTubers who did self-reflection and concluded their year with their accomplished or unaccomplished resolution they set at the beginning of 2020. They also analyzed why they did or did not complete those goals. This is a wake up call for me. I am starting to ask myself about the achievement I have done in the past year.

I have a motto printed on my desk that says: “Life begins at the end of the comfort-zone”, and I believe that it is true. Without hard work, we will stay the same while others are facing challenges and grow from those efforts they have put into overcoming the obstacles. However, I always want to be comfortable such as sleeping in in the morning, or doing things that require no effort. I know it is not going to help me, but the laziness sucks me into that black hole of coziness. Therefore, here comes my first new year resolution: always choose hard work over instant gratification. If I do not spend energy doing or trying to do new things, I cannot become a better version of myself.

The second thing I want to change is to wake up early in the morning. It sort of connects with the previous point. I find that hitting the snooze button have wasted half of my morning. While everyone is up and on the move, I still hide in my bed sheet. And when I do get up, I get ready for work in a rush, which results in forgetting things and the rest of my day becomes super messy. Moreover, I am late to work frequently because of sleeping in. I have read many articles and watched many videos about waking up early, but none of the tips or practices seem to help me. This is not me when I was a student. I was never late to school. Although I did love sleeping as much as I do now, I still pushed myself to get up every morning. It also means that I am walking backward right now. Therefore, I have to be stricter with myself on this. Get up at 6:30am (or at least 7am) and start the new day with more time to prepare.

Last but not least, I want to be more proactive, both in expressing myself and taking actions. In my family, being expressive is not encouraged and we could get negative response if we did. Being obedient and not causing troubles are the preferred qualities. So it has become a habit of mine to run the possible consequences before saying something and most of the time, I chose to stay silent to avoid the possible back lash. I am also reluctant to proactively do things or say things because sometimes new things can cause troubles. Hence, I always hide inside my shell and refuse to take the first step at anything. As I step into the society, I meet many amazing people who are bold and initiative. They dare to make decision, take charge and solve the problem. Then, I realized that being too careful have hindered me from taking risk and taking challenges, which then again will keep me at the same place. I want to reach higher and be braver.

To sum up, in this 2021, I want to choose tough challenges over easy games, wake up early in the morning, and be proactive. Let's stop putting things away simply because I am afraid of not doing it well enough, but start doing new things, make mistakes and learn from them!

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